This happened months ago

Well well well. I was reading a baby blog ( Hankandlucy.blogspot.com) and thought wow it's so cool that they're documenting all this. Then I remembered that's what I intended to do over here. So now i am back, for a little while.

There have been some changes. I finished school for the summer and today i landed a job (that is fantastic & wonderful). I start in 2 weeks.

We have also agonized over the concept of the wedding. It took us a full 4 months to figure out what kind of wedding felt right for us. We decided that we wanted an intimate wedding.We wanted our guests to be people who knew us well and loved us both. We were hoping to avoid guests who would wonder what was for dinner during the ceremony so we could spend more time with people who are a big part of our lives all year round. We wanted to celebrate just like it was any other day and skip the whole big to-do part of weddings. We wanted the people there And it was fantastic to both come to this agreement and feel right about it.

Then we told my parents. And they were cool with it. And then we told them again to double check. And again. And they were cool with it. And then when we had gotten used to the idea they decided that they weren't cool with it. I guess the whole wedding concept finally sunk in and it turns out they did have some feelings about not inviting all the extended family. Which is fair enough.

So I cried. Quite a bit. One thing I know about myself is that once I'm attached to something, whether it's a person, thing or idea, it takes me some time to let go of it. So I cried and we talked about it. My parents each called me every day for several days after they told us how they felt and I put off their calls. I wasn't ready to talk about it. I didn't want to explain myself or make them feel like they needed to explain themselves. We both had legitimate concerns. Sometimes that's how it is.

Then one day, we decided to just explore our different options and open our minds to a few new ideas for the wedding. We decided to figure out how to incorporate a larger guestlist into the wedding we wanted. I discovered that I was more attached to a laidback and intimate feeling for the wedding day rather than a small guestlist.


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*edit: This post has languished unfinished for months now. Since I'm trying to document this whole wedding planning process, I've decided to publish it as is. To make a long story short... We're having a small island wedding. The end.

Fun picnic wedding

I haven't posted one of these in a while, but here's a wedding I'd like to remember. They have more money than you can shake a stick at (why is that an expression?) But their wedding is fun and awesome. I kinda seriously want a picnic wedding, but haven't been able to strike the balance between intimate and everybody yet so I'm not too sure how it'd work. Anywho, check this lovely wedding out. You haven't seen much like it before.

Today!

Hey there. What? No, I'm not dead. Yes, I'm still engaged. I guess I just haven't had too much to say to the internets lately. And I've been insanely busy with school and my business.

Wedding planning was immensely exciting for a while. Then I hit a road block and it was immensely depressing. All the options just felt so.... wedding. Go figure. But I digress. Because today, today! Today, we decided something for good. We are having a small ceremony and then a large reception. It's what I wanted from the beginning, but when you get planning things start to seem less possible somehow and all forces funnel you into a cookie cutter wedding because it's what's easy in your price range, it's what's been done before, and it's what people expect. But today we are throwing off these wedding shackles and doing it our way. We're having a small, teeny tiny ceremony somewhere in the wilderness. I might make people hike. I might make them picnic. But that's not important because our teeny tiny ceremony is going to be ours, just as we want it, and it's going to be awesome.

That is all.

The S word

Wedding spreadsheets.

I think every bride has one. It looks scary, it sounds scary and it is scary. I have reached a plateau with mine. I have been looking for outdoor venues in and around Vancouver. A place where you have to drive through the beautiful scenery of this province to get to, that feels sacred in a natural, awe-inspiring kind of way, that has some shelter (because let's face it, June has rain), and that is not four walls and some windows. Oh, and it has to be reasonably priced.

Doesn't exist. As organized as my spreadsheet may be, it can't invent something that doesn't exist. So I have hit a wall. The more information I get about my potential venues, the more I cross off the list. I'm afraid there will be nothing left. If anyone knows some cool untapped venues in BC, let me know!

I'm sure it gets easier after this part right?

* On a happier note, my mom has finally realized that maybe planning a wedding could be fun. Her mom planned her wedding so she's never had the experience before. I think she associates wedding with rec centres and chair covers. We've got some work to do there... pretty pictures to the rescue!

I don't think so

Wedding crazy of the week:

"Keep things very minimal and just add small, luxurious details that your guest will interact with on a more personal and intimate level like these personalized napkins."

By which they mean, napkins that you HAND-STITCHED with each guests name. .... WTF! I don't have an emoticon that could even begin to show you the look on my face right now.

God + war

I have mixed feelings about religion. I myself don't partake in any religion and neither does the fiancee (although coming from a Mexican Catholic family his ideas about not participating in religion are likely different than mine). My only experiences with religion came from 1) going to a Christian summer camp (is there any other kind?) and 2) attending youth group with Christian friends in high school. After seriously considering the idea for years, I swung in the other direction and came very close to saying without guilt or fear that god did not exist. In recent years I have expanded my definition of what God might be, and have come up with a concept that is more palatable to me than anything presented to me in my dabbles with Christianity. I'm still not sure where i stand on the whole issue though. The fiancee however is quite clear, God exists, He is important, though religion is not so great.

Previously we had discussed getting married outside and not in a church. This seemed to be okay. Today though, we were talking about the wedding and I discovered some interesting things. 1) He feels that some people, although not him, will feel that a wedding anywhere other than a church is not a real wedding and 2) If the situation was different and we were in Mexico, or all of his family was going to be here, he might want to be married in a church.

I'm not too sure what to do with that information. Our wedding won't be a real wedding? It might be more meaningful for him in a Mexican church? Does that mean it won't be as meaningful to you here? I'm still processing that.

We then discussed our vows. He would like God to be included in them. I had pretty much counted on them being secular. I'm not too sure what's it's going to feel like standing up there and hearing someone talk about God to me before I make deeply important commitment. I don't want any part of those vows or my statement of commitment to the fiancee to feel inauthentic to me. Nor do I want to deny the importance of acknowledging our union in front of God to the fiancee.

I think it's going to take me a while to come to terms with this. And it's also going to be a very delicate process piecing our vows together. Any advice?

it's so fluffy i'm gonna die!

So adorable.


Lex & Loren - Engagement/Save the date! from Loren Brinton Films on Vimeo.


How hard could it be to make one on your own I wonder?

haha. what a dumb question.

Dreams

He wakes up very early. Very early.

And so he sleeps early too. Today he made the announcement at 9:30, but I managed to get bedtime conversation with him until 10:30. I don't mind. He's beside me when I fall asleep, even if no matter how dark it is outside when i wake up and hopefully reach my hand to the other side of the bed there's only blankets. 

The thing is, he likes to fall asleep with me beside him and he's been asking for me to join him with such a sad look on his face. I would love to make him happy, but I was not blessed with the ability to roll over and just be asleep like he was. If I go to bed when I'm not tired I will stay awake for hours trying to fall asleep. Alas, he continues to ask. So we compromise. Sometimes I lie there as he falls asleep. Sometimes I do this, and type on my computer while he's off dreaming.

I sure wish he'd be there when I wake up though. At least we have Sundays.

it's snowing outside.

WE ARE ENGAGED!

Yeah. You know what? I was reading the last couple posts I wrote and nope, fuck it. I spent most of the Christmas holidays trying not to cause too much squealing as I announced that the boyfriend and I are engaged and look at my pretty ring, and omg I love it so much. I'm not big on being the centre of attention so I told people quietly, like it was you know, no big deal and hey, how was your Christmas? But I'm pretty fucking exciting about it so here internets, I'm gonna yell now.


WE ARE IN LOVE AND WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!

obnoxious? Oh well, suck it internet. I deserved that.

Yipee!

And they're off!

We stuck our baby toes into the water of wedding planning this week. For the most part, it was alright. But i feel like we're embarking upon the amazing race of venue hunting. There are way more details involved in choosing a venue than I imagined, and i'm pretty sure we don't know the half of it yet. Plating fees, corking fees, minimums and "you're getting kicked out now" hours. One place was going to charge us $33 if we had music? And if we fancy pants wanted to dance to that music it was going to be $66?! Just, why?