Dun duh na na!

i meant for that to sound triumphant so i hope it doesn't read like jaws. Today was the last day of my summer job (whooopee!) AND, AND, AND... I have 6 whole days off until i go back to school (for the first time in 3 years! I am excited yet terrified. pre-reading be damned). When I imagined this moment i thought i would want to get outta town and spend these 6 days somewhere else, anywhere else before the realities of student life hit me again. Just kick up my heels and go swimming for a week. And the boyfriend and I have made a plan sort of. He is planning to ask his boss if he can have time off for us to go away over the long weekend for a few days and come back just before school starts on Tuesday. So far we've calculated costs, mapped driving routes and determined that yes campsites are available and yeah we have all the stuff we'd need. Bit spur of the moment, like everything else, but it's do-able.

But now that it's actually here i'm not so sure i psyched about going. It poured rain today and while my head was already in a fall state of mind (Productive! and ready to accomplish things! things! like reading! buying new clothes! and of course some textbooks!), today I broke out my comfy pants (which usually don't see the light of day until Novemeber) in response to this weather and i feel like staying inside and tackling the massive to-do list i have before school starts and i have to stare at the damn list for another year without a hope of accomplishing any of it.

Plus, I bought stuff today. For the apartment. So now i'm possessed with notions of redoing the bathroom in a lovely seaside motif and recovering the kitchen chairs, and maybe i could do something about these lampshades? and what the hell i might as well visit my parents so i can visit every home decor store in the hours drive between me and them. So yeah. I've got the fall crazies right now.

So I don' t know if we're actually going to make this vacation or not. it would be nice since we haven't been on a vacation together this year and we should get in some bonding and cuddles before i spend all my time cuddled up with books and throwing expletives at my computer. But then, it would be nice to cross out some things on that to-do list, maybe tackle some more of that pre-reading, and get into the school state of mind again. I guess i'll be happy either way. We'll see what happens. i'll keep you posted.

weddings i like

sigh, i couldn't resist. i started looking at wedding photos again. This wedding will make you want to vomit it is so stuffed full of diy but it's just so pretty and i like the spirit. Plus who is named Artemis or Nao? I may just have to name my children after this wedding.

in which she learns more than she wanted to

We had an interesting conversation a few nights ago and I learned more about him than I wanted to. See, i live a very idealistic life. I carefully select the kind of thing that i allow into my life. I don't consume negative news images, don't frequently watch disturbing movies, the people in my life are pure loveliness and intelligence, with a hearty dose of sparkle and amazingness. They are as close to perfection as I have been able to find. I work in a pretty good place, or at least the aims of the field are admirable and you know, things just work out for me and i work hard to keep it that way.

So chatting about the realities of my boyfriend's illegal Mexican existence here in Canada has been eye opening. I know that bad things exist but never imagined that they existed so close to me. He knows and works with some pretty unsavory people. How can you exist in such a sphere and still be so full of goodness? Proximity with that kind of thing would tire me right out in a heartbeat. I wonder how you can be so close to that and still believe in humanity. Certainly his perceptions on the world around us are different from mine, and sometimes that bugs me. I enjoy my ignorance and innocence about some things. If i believed in god, i would pray that this time won't last much longer for him, that things will get better soon. But i think we still have a good long stretch ahead of us. None of this will be easy for him or us. Not one little bit.

dawn

At work today my coworker was describing how she describes us to other people. and I was described as the kinda quiet, motherly type. I stopped her there in mock horror (but not very mock really) at being described as motherly. ( I'm still young! I still fit jeans that aren't too many sizes bigger than the ones i wore in highschool! )

She protested though that she just thought that i was the one who would make a good mother. And that made me smile. A lot.

small victories

one more, just because lately this has been more of an issue than i'm used to....

I just looked in my bank account and there is a little bit of money in there, yipee!

umm hi

i have abandoned beautiful wedding photo blogs. They give me bad energy from looking at them too much and they skew my priorities in a bad way. And I have been feeling distinctly un-weddingy. which makes sense since i'm not engaged yet. I've also been taking a photography class twice a week after work which has stretched me pretty thin. I'm happy to say that next week is the last class and that i know how to use my camera now. I'd really like to get into wedding photography (have i said that already?). Partly because i can really help us along while i'm in grad school and partly because i looked at photographers in my area and thought surely i can do better than that. Anyhoo, head over to APW again today for a very smart post from one lovely lady.