Thursday, August 26, 2010

in which she learns more than she wanted to

We had an interesting conversation a few nights ago and I learned more about him than I wanted to. See, i live a very idealistic life. I carefully select the kind of thing that i allow into my life. I don't consume negative news images, don't frequently watch disturbing movies, the people in my life are pure loveliness and intelligence, with a hearty dose of sparkle and amazingness. They are as close to perfection as I have been able to find. I work in a pretty good place, or at least the aims of the field are admirable and you know, things just work out for me and i work hard to keep it that way.

So chatting about the realities of my boyfriend's illegal Mexican existence here in Canada has been eye opening. I know that bad things exist but never imagined that they existed so close to me. He knows and works with some pretty unsavory people. How can you exist in such a sphere and still be so full of goodness? Proximity with that kind of thing would tire me right out in a heartbeat. I wonder how you can be so close to that and still believe in humanity. Certainly his perceptions on the world around us are different from mine, and sometimes that bugs me. I enjoy my ignorance and innocence about some things. If i believed in god, i would pray that this time won't last much longer for him, that things will get better soon. But i think we still have a good long stretch ahead of us. None of this will be easy for him or us. Not one little bit.

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