Saturday, January 15, 2011

God + war

I have mixed feelings about religion. I myself don't partake in any religion and neither does the fiancee (although coming from a Mexican Catholic family his ideas about not participating in religion are likely different than mine). My only experiences with religion came from 1) going to a Christian summer camp (is there any other kind?) and 2) attending youth group with Christian friends in high school. After seriously considering the idea for years, I swung in the other direction and came very close to saying without guilt or fear that god did not exist. In recent years I have expanded my definition of what God might be, and have come up with a concept that is more palatable to me than anything presented to me in my dabbles with Christianity. I'm still not sure where i stand on the whole issue though. The fiancee however is quite clear, God exists, He is important, though religion is not so great.

Previously we had discussed getting married outside and not in a church. This seemed to be okay. Today though, we were talking about the wedding and I discovered some interesting things. 1) He feels that some people, although not him, will feel that a wedding anywhere other than a church is not a real wedding and 2) If the situation was different and we were in Mexico, or all of his family was going to be here, he might want to be married in a church.

I'm not too sure what to do with that information. Our wedding won't be a real wedding? It might be more meaningful for him in a Mexican church? Does that mean it won't be as meaningful to you here? I'm still processing that.

We then discussed our vows. He would like God to be included in them. I had pretty much counted on them being secular. I'm not too sure what's it's going to feel like standing up there and hearing someone talk about God to me before I make deeply important commitment. I don't want any part of those vows or my statement of commitment to the fiancee to feel inauthentic to me. Nor do I want to deny the importance of acknowledging our union in front of God to the fiancee.

I think it's going to take me a while to come to terms with this. And it's also going to be a very delicate process piecing our vows together. Any advice?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

it's so fluffy i'm gonna die!

So adorable.

Lex & Loren - Engagement/Save the date! from Loren Brinton Films on Vimeo.

How hard could it be to make one on your own I wonder?

haha. what a dumb question.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


He wakes up very early. Very early.

And so he sleeps early too. Today he made the announcement at 9:30, but I managed to get bedtime conversation with him until 10:30. I don't mind. He's beside me when I fall asleep, even if no matter how dark it is outside when i wake up and hopefully reach my hand to the other side of the bed there's only blankets. 

The thing is, he likes to fall asleep with me beside him and he's been asking for me to join him with such a sad look on his face. I would love to make him happy, but I was not blessed with the ability to roll over and just be asleep like he was. If I go to bed when I'm not tired I will stay awake for hours trying to fall asleep. Alas, he continues to ask. So we compromise. Sometimes I lie there as he falls asleep. Sometimes I do this, and type on my computer while he's off dreaming.

I sure wish he'd be there when I wake up though. At least we have Sundays.

it's snowing outside.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Yeah. You know what? I was reading the last couple posts I wrote and nope, fuck it. I spent most of the Christmas holidays trying not to cause too much squealing as I announced that the boyfriend and I are engaged and look at my pretty ring, and omg I love it so much. I'm not big on being the centre of attention so I told people quietly, like it was you know, no big deal and hey, how was your Christmas? But I'm pretty fucking exciting about it so here internets, I'm gonna yell now.


obnoxious? Oh well, suck it internet. I deserved that.


And they're off!

We stuck our baby toes into the water of wedding planning this week. For the most part, it was alright. But i feel like we're embarking upon the amazing race of venue hunting. There are way more details involved in choosing a venue than I imagined, and i'm pretty sure we don't know the half of it yet. Plating fees, corking fees, minimums and "you're getting kicked out now" hours. One place was going to charge us $33 if we had music? And if we fancy pants wanted to dance to that music it was going to be $66?! Just, why?