Tuesday, July 6, 2010

warning signs

Lately i've been dropping little hints to my parents about the upcoming engagment. jokes about running away to elope, about my parents becoming grandparents... that kinda stuff. I'm not sure my parents are prepared for the news and i know they hate surprises. i think my parents always imagined that my partner and I would be more settled in and established when we decided to get married. Instead we will be in an in-between period for the next few years with respect to our careers and, from the vantage point of my parents 35 year marriage, we're still pretty new.

Last week, my dad asked me point blank if we'd been talking about getting married and i said yes. He didn't say much after that and seemed to be thinking deeply about it. So i was a little worried when we planned to get together with my parents for lunch.

When we arrived my parents were in fine form. My dad gave my boyfriend career advice about all aspects of his career plans and my mom proposed that they start a formal homework plan together to improve his English. At one point my boyfriend gave me a little look and we smiled. It was clear that my parents were offering all their best advice out of love, as an investment into someone who will soon join our family in the deepest way. Ain't love grand? It became so clear that it's not just about the two of us. Building our small family also builds a much bigger family, as he joins my family and i join his. It makes it so much more meaningful, and i never thought anything outside of the two of us would be very important. i can't wait.

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