house wifery

Ever since I started school again I find myself becoming more and more inclined to do domestic-y type things (how on earth do you spell that?). I've started cooking more, and using recipes, which i think the boyfriend is loving. I've also had this fall urge to finish the little projects around the house that i've had on my list forever. The balcony garden is growing nicely, i'm getting acquainted with the new indoor plants (succulents!), my desk is finally organized, the recipe book is growing. i finally put up a shelf in the bathroom today making that the one room in the apartment that is complete, and i dare say, looks damn nice.

I'm pretty sure that attacking my to-do list has been more about trying to get the house in order before i melt away into graduate school. But this whole cooking thing is throwing me for a bit of a loop. I've never been much of a cook so I'm finding it hard to explain this latest urge to actually follow recipes and make .... real food. The other day i made chicken cordon bleu. Just, what? and it was easy! and it was good! i can't explain it. My mother was not much of a cook. She focused more on the healthiness of the food, rather than the pleasure taken from cooking or eating it. So the succession of tasty dinner plates has been a bit baffling. Today i think i finally put my finger on it though. I think that since i am now a student and not bringing home a paycheck, i've been unconsciously stepping up my game on the housework side of things. You know, to make sure i'm contributing equally (even though i have a nice little scholarship which definitely contributes, although a bit less than usual). Part of me thinks that's so very unprogressive of me. And the other part of me thinks, forget stereotypes, it's kind of cool and i might just embrace it... at least i'll learn how to cook.

weddings i like

This couple held their wedding in a forest. i think i'm in love.

a shift

 I wrote this post in July and thought i'd come back and edit it, but it turns out that i don't edit, i just post stuff. so i forgot about this one. I don't want to forget about it though because this sentiment was part of a shift in our relationship, part of extending our roots into the ground together. So here it is.


The boyfriend and I live together. July 1st marked our one year anniversary living together. (Also, it was Canada day. Happy Birthday Canada). Over this year our relationship has shifted. We moved in together pretty quickly, so the beginning was a mad rush of going out for dinner, or to the park, or to watch the sunset, go dancing, shopping, meeting friends etc, etc, etc. As we've grown into our lives together, and added some new financial goals, we've started doing those date- like things less and less. Our relationship has become a bit more about errands and reading books and watching tv. I don't wait in bed until he wakes up all the time anymore, although i still do like watching him sleep if i wake up first. I don't always ask what he wants to do. I spend more time doing my own things in the house. and that's great. this weekend we were struggling for ideas about what to do. we'd gone out for dinner, it was saturday night and we didn't know what to do next. I was struggling to come up with an idea, any idea, that might be entertaining. Eventually, he said he was okay if we just went home. We rented a movie. he fell asleep halfway through. it was our saturday night. I worried that maybe he felt like our relationship was boring, maybe he missed doing all the things we used to. shouldn't our saturday nights be more exciting?


but when i asked him, he pointed out that we live together. And our relationship is more about living our lives together and less about keeping each other entertained, and i felt better. i love that he has the ability to point something out and make me feel better so quickly. 

"those aren't very romatic things to say but they stir my heart"

this is it. this is what marriage is, what life is, what death is. we should all be so lucky.


Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

live the joy!

Okay, for a minute look past the swelling music, the designer gown, the million dollar budget and the fact that she's a supermodel and look at how joyful they look! I want to have the smiliest kiss, just like that one.


Coco + James // Teaser from Americana Cinema on Vimeo.

lucky lucky

I just made my first cream sauce and i'm feeling very domestically accomplished. I've officially entered territory uncharted by my mother. At any rate, that creamy accomplishment is making me feel better about the new pet our apartment seems to have acquired. (It is unwelcome and I spent an entire day cleaning EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE).

Anyways, i've finished the first week of my masters program. Many weeks more to come. I'm really excited about it though. It's nice to be back and thinking critically. My classmates are really nice and the profs are smart and approachable so all in all i'm pretty happy in my mountains of reading.

In case you were wondering, our vacation was wonderful. We spent 3 lovely nights on a tiny little island occupied by hippies and artists. It was the boyfriend's first time ever camping and we took advantage of every minute... beautiful hikes, stunning beaches, awesome farmers market, skinny dipping and roasting marshmellows (for the first time ever! how did he survive!?!) Not to mention the stars. the stars! Outside the city everything is so much brighter and the milky way was a magical swath of light across the sky up there. Lying on the beach and looking at stars while police go around making teens pour out their liqour... nothing better. It was one of those serindipitous weekends where everything (okay not everything but still) was just right with the world.

And now, school. I've got a big 'ol smile on my face typing this. I am a lucky lady.

it's on!

The trip is on! We have 4 wonderful days together. We're hightailing it off to an island that is very difficult to get to and the ferry costs are astronomical. I have to tell myself to quiet the screaming voice inside me that's saying "what? just for a boat!?" when I see how sweetly the boyfriend talks about enjoying the ferry ride and getting some sun on the top deck. So I have today to do everything (!) and then four blissfull, hopefully sunny days to let water and sun wash away any stresses and leave us relaxed and calm for September. Wish us luck and good weather! Have a great long weekend!

Dun duh na na!

i meant for that to sound triumphant so i hope it doesn't read like jaws. Today was the last day of my summer job (whooopee!) AND, AND, AND... I have 6 whole days off until i go back to school (for the first time in 3 years! I am excited yet terrified. pre-reading be damned). When I imagined this moment i thought i would want to get outta town and spend these 6 days somewhere else, anywhere else before the realities of student life hit me again. Just kick up my heels and go swimming for a week. And the boyfriend and I have made a plan sort of. He is planning to ask his boss if he can have time off for us to go away over the long weekend for a few days and come back just before school starts on Tuesday. So far we've calculated costs, mapped driving routes and determined that yes campsites are available and yeah we have all the stuff we'd need. Bit spur of the moment, like everything else, but it's do-able.

But now that it's actually here i'm not so sure i psyched about going. It poured rain today and while my head was already in a fall state of mind (Productive! and ready to accomplish things! things! like reading! buying new clothes! and of course some textbooks!), today I broke out my comfy pants (which usually don't see the light of day until Novemeber) in response to this weather and i feel like staying inside and tackling the massive to-do list i have before school starts and i have to stare at the damn list for another year without a hope of accomplishing any of it.

Plus, I bought stuff today. For the apartment. So now i'm possessed with notions of redoing the bathroom in a lovely seaside motif and recovering the kitchen chairs, and maybe i could do something about these lampshades? and what the hell i might as well visit my parents so i can visit every home decor store in the hours drive between me and them. So yeah. I've got the fall crazies right now.

So I don' t know if we're actually going to make this vacation or not. it would be nice since we haven't been on a vacation together this year and we should get in some bonding and cuddles before i spend all my time cuddled up with books and throwing expletives at my computer. But then, it would be nice to cross out some things on that to-do list, maybe tackle some more of that pre-reading, and get into the school state of mind again. I guess i'll be happy either way. We'll see what happens. i'll keep you posted.

weddings i like

sigh, i couldn't resist. i started looking at wedding photos again. This wedding will make you want to vomit it is so stuffed full of diy but it's just so pretty and i like the spirit. Plus who is named Artemis or Nao? I may just have to name my children after this wedding.

in which she learns more than she wanted to

We had an interesting conversation a few nights ago and I learned more about him than I wanted to. See, i live a very idealistic life. I carefully select the kind of thing that i allow into my life. I don't consume negative news images, don't frequently watch disturbing movies, the people in my life are pure loveliness and intelligence, with a hearty dose of sparkle and amazingness. They are as close to perfection as I have been able to find. I work in a pretty good place, or at least the aims of the field are admirable and you know, things just work out for me and i work hard to keep it that way.

So chatting about the realities of my boyfriend's illegal Mexican existence here in Canada has been eye opening. I know that bad things exist but never imagined that they existed so close to me. He knows and works with some pretty unsavory people. How can you exist in such a sphere and still be so full of goodness? Proximity with that kind of thing would tire me right out in a heartbeat. I wonder how you can be so close to that and still believe in humanity. Certainly his perceptions on the world around us are different from mine, and sometimes that bugs me. I enjoy my ignorance and innocence about some things. If i believed in god, i would pray that this time won't last much longer for him, that things will get better soon. But i think we still have a good long stretch ahead of us. None of this will be easy for him or us. Not one little bit.